OUR UNTOLD STORIES – Mencap Friendship Skills

25 May 2016

Cathy and her husband Adam outside the church they married in 20 years ago

As part of Our Untold Stories, the Friendship Skills group from Mencap thought about times that they, like Alan Bennett, had faced difficulties and come through the experience to reach an achievement.

I wanted to become independent, living away from home. It was difficult because I was, I didn’t know where to go and I was waiting and waiting and waiting for this opportunity, right place and find out about Pelham House. It was a great move and I am now happy there.
– Jonathan

When I was young I didn’t think I’d find anyone to marry. I felt other boyfriends weren’t serious. Then I met Adam, at Castle School. We met with a look across a crowded room and we’ve been married 19 years, 20 in August. We moved into own place – flew the nest! – in 1994 and we decorated. We’ve been there ever since, 22 years. It was 1996 we got married, it was hot day. We had our honeymoon in the Isle of Wright, we had a fantastic time there.
– Cathy

When I left home I was 16. I moved to a place called Lambourn. It was meant to be a house for life. I choose to move because it was not right for me. I then moved to a house called Great Shefford. It was not right for me because I got told I could not ring my mum all day. When I moved to Greenham I am happy. I can see outside, like the woods, and I can hear the animals at night. The problems are gone.
– Leigh

I never knew I had a half-sister and she thought she would never find me. She sent a Facebook message to my mum saying she was my half-sister. Mum asked she questions and we arranged to meet which was really exciting and nervous. I was really scared, worried and did not want to meet her but part of me wanted to. I met her and it went really well and we are going to meet again and our relationship is going well. I am now an aunty again.
– Anonymous

Yesterday I was working at work and there was a new lady working there who asked me – I was doing my jobs but she wanted me to do her jobs as well so I do cleaning and things out the cupboard and you understand I can’t do everything and her cleaning and my work so I had to ask the boss to say to her, ‘look, I can only do what I can do’. The lady had to speak to her to tell her not to overload me with jobs when I’m already doing jobs. I’m doing her jobs when I’ve got time. She managed to tell her in the end. If you don’t speak up you’re not going to get anywhere.
– Debbie

The bus stop changed. It made me feel anxious because I did not know where to go so I have to ask the bus driver where the new stops are. This made me more confident.
– Faye

I had this carer who worked at Pelham House, which is where I live, a few years ago and honest-to God I never met such a two-faced person in my entire life. To my face he was as nice as anything but behind my back he was one of the most evil carers I’ve ever met in my life. He stole from me, stole money from me. What happened was, I was in the pub the night before and an agency carer went and stole some money from me the week beforehand. So I had a credit card back then. I was trying my best not to upset my mum because I know how much it would break my mum’s heart if she knew that some money went missing so I went to my credit card and cashed out a load of money trying to put the money back – I didn’t think at the time that was the wrong thing to do but when you’re upset, when things like that happen to you, you just don’t think at the time. But anyway, I was in the pub that night and I noticed that when the barman served me I noticed that I had some of that money leftover so I thought “I’m going up to Reading tomorrow and I’m gonna make a whole day of it” and of course this guy came in to support me the following morning. When I got to Reading, I started doing some bits of shopping and I noticed that half of the money was gone. So I went to Halifax up in Reading and this guy came from downstairs – I take it he was the manager – but he said, “Sorry, sir, there’s nothing we can do for you here. You have to go to the police and report it”, which is what I did do. I was so angry and so upset at the time, I just thought this needed to be dealt with. The woman police officer, I tell you what, she was very helpful. She wanted to know everything about this carer but I wasn’t allowed to give out any names. I don’t know exactly what happened to him next but he doesn’t work there anymore, thank Christ, and the happiest thing that happened to me was that I had a police meeting at Pelham House and I got this bell on my purse so if any carers who work there now try to steal it from me this’ll ring so that’s made me quite happy. I’ve got to admit, though, the carers I’ve got there now are very, very good. It’s all changed a hell of a lot now, that’s the good thing that’s come about from it.
– Shaun

I met Catherine in 2011 at bowling and then it took me 23 years to ask her out and finally going out as a couple now in 2015. Well, that’s my story.
– Neil

For more information about all the activities Mencap offers to people with learning disabilities, visit westberkshiremencap.org or call 01635 41464